The Inspiration Behind The Longing
How The Longing Was Inspired
by the women I met in my Career
The Longing is a novel, a Domestic Noire dealing with themes of family relationships, child abuse, friendships and the lies we tell to hide our truth. Where is our emotional tipping point when we desire what we can't have and will do anything to achieve it? My experience in a previous working life, prior to being able to focus on writing, feeds into my novel and offers credibility around the narrative of difficult topics. This is not a tale of child protection, although it is touched upon!
Many moons ago I worked as a Midwife before becoming a health visitor, a nursing post-graduate qualification in specialist practice enabling me to work with 'children and families.' Working mostly with vulnerable families who needed extra support from health and social services, including child protection work. My peers and I were trained 'old school' and had the autonomy of own caseloads of families from birth until they attended school ~ unless the family moved away. It meant continuity of working with families over long periods of time and getting to know them well, especially important when working in child protection. Child protection was stressful, exhausting and sometimes a terrifying area of work to be in. It was also immensely satisfying when families turned their lives around, or as a last resort, children were found another permanent home away from their parents. I did work my way up the career ladder and found myself in middle management roles, overseeing health visiting teams and teaching in London. Oh my word, talk about stressful! Long commutes and never ending working hours. My peers and I survived on the three 'C's,' carbs, caffeine and for some, cigarettes. Let's not forget the out of hours alcohol. Not healthy, but fed into (pun intended) into depicting Jen's, the protagonist in The Longing, working life in London. As one of my friends and beta reader said, don't forget the muffins!
So,
I am indebted to the hundreds, possibly thousands, of women, clients and other professionals, who crossed my path and influenced my perspective on women's roles in society. From all walks of life they juggled parenting with relationships and work pressures and not always successfully ~ it is an almost impossible task. It's okay after all to be a 'good enough' mother. This is not a new paradigm, however I do think women have fallen prey to the trope of having it all. The pressures upon women after childbirth to return to their careers (too) early for fear of missing out on promotion, status or god forbid, wasting their education, weighs heavy on them. Other women were almost reluctant to admit to wanting to be a 'stay at home mum.' At the risk of being controversial, motherhood is viewed by the wider society as an unpaid role with low status and little meaning to the world at large. Relegated to being a menial task? Where career woman are not supposed to admit to longing for a child of your own? Idea's and questions for a storyline were being formed:
What if you're childless not by choice and unable to move on with your life?
What if the alternatives, adoption or surrogacy, are not feasible or palatable for you?
Would you consider literally anything to become a mother?
What if you turned a friends problem to your solution?
Life doesn't always deliver what you want but gives you what you need.
I ought to say that it goes without saying all my characters are pure fiction ~ they are not based on anyone I know ~ and rules of confidentiality have been maintained. However, characters have been influenced by many people over the years so the right feel has been captured in terms of behaviours and scene setting.
I do a lot of plotting and research before I commit to a first draft and let the characters take over. For example, I needed to discover whether it was possible to buy midwifery equipment on-line. Tapped in details on e-bay and lo and behold dear reader, you can indeed order midwifery equipment on line. The real deal, not toys! I didn't even have to enter my (then) nursing registration number in order to buy. Shocked but not surprised and it meant a plot point was plausible.
The seeds for my novel were sown, setting the wheels of The Longing in motion. Jennifer, my protagonist had wings.









